How Nubians Tie The Knot
12 December, 2014
Khartoum (Sudanow) Nubian wedding parties, or rather wedding festivals, have a story to be told.
Despite their forced mass exodus from the land of their ancestors, to give room for the construction of the Egyptian high dam and its ensuing lake, the Nubians did not change very much. They are struggling to keep their language, culture and social traditions alive. Those who agreed to move to New Halfa in Eastern Sudan or those who chose to stay behind do cling to their culture and are, in fact, very apprehensive about the notion of losing touch with their past heritage.
The beli or wedding protocols are governed by fixed rituals .Wedding days and nights in all Nubian villages are a chance for recreation not to be missed by anybody.
In retrospect Nubian families, and before the current wave of modernization, have used to fix brides and grooms for their children even before puberty. Traditionally, a father or mother would choose the daughter of his/her brother or sister as the future espouse of his/her son. If this is not available, the parents would choose the daughter of another close relative. Marriage outside the clan was a taboo, then. But as the winds of change continued to blow, the families had accepted to ease this position. This orthodox attitude towards the selection of brides could have been dictated by the Nubians` pride over their language , which they insist to use whatever the situation.
Nubian nuptials start at the groom's home days before the wedding day. Lads and lasses gather at night at the door step of the groom and that of the bride to chant Nubian songs and dance to the sounds of tambourine and drums. If these musical instruments are not available, they drum up food trays to keep the tempo. The kids line up together and so do the girls.. These gatherings are meant to express happiness and to tell neighbouring villagers that a happy occasion is due..
But the official protocols do not start until the bride and groom agree upon the wedding day. The festivity takes an entire week or more, with each day before or after the wedding day given a special name according to the type of ritual. But now wedding days tend to be squeezed little by little.
On the day before the groom's hands and feet are to be dyed with henna, relatives and friends begin to pour into his house as early as possible to ready the feast, arrange lodgings for the guests and erect a cloth pavilion for the party. Blissful ululations are heard from time to time as the process goes on and also when new guests arrive.
In the evening the guests are served with tea and home-made biscuits. A gala then opens and continues until dawn. Early next day the youth congregate to set the scene for a feast. They fetch and slay sheep, procure and clean vegetables, procure cooking appliances, clean the ground, arrange the chairs and tables, fill jars with drinking and washing water and stretch carpets on the ground. Kids serve the guests with drinking water and give them soap to wash their hands when they finish their meal. Part of the youngsters take care of the concert, keep order and take elderly men and women back home after they finish their meal. In the meantime henna is painted on the groom's palms and inner feet .This is done by the groom's sisters and mother in the presence of his close friends and other future grooms who attend to learn a lesson.
Surrounded with village girls, the groom relaxes on a bed covered with silken sheets. A big table rests before the groom, top of it are trays of henna, bottles of perfume and a gasket stuffed with dry home-made perfumes. Incense clouds the scene which is punctuated every now and then with joyful ululations. An elderly woman keeps singing praise of the groom and his lineage. She enumerates the traits of the groom and his family and how benevolent and brave they are. She continues to name the groom's relatives and their good qualities and whenever she forgets a name other women remind her. Ululations go up with each name mentioned and go even louder when a name of someone who is not present is uttered. A young man sprays the gathering with cologne. At a certain point men start to present their financial gifts to the groom and with each name and sum mentioned happy ululations come out from the ladies.. Whenever a man is absent from the occasion, his wife, mother or sister pays on his behalf.
Supper is served by carefully selected boys who are supervised by a man with character. A long cane in hand and eyes on the vigil , this man superintends the process, pointing with his cane towards new guests to be served. When any of the boys is slow with the job, he gives him a hit. Empty trays and dishes are then cleared from the place. Young men then escort the elderly who wish to go home as a show of respect.. Then a gala begins to the sounds of Nubian songs and music.
At the bride's home relatives are mobilized as early as possible to prepare for her happy day. Costumes, saris, shoes, handbags and jewels are made ready. With them are the colourful firka and garmaseese sheets. The firka is wrapped around the bride waist down .The garmaseese covers her body head-to-toe and is not removed until when the groom takes it off as she steps in for the bridal dance.
Usually the bride is kept out of sight and away from sunlight for several days and never gets out until the wedding day. Her hands and feet are covered with careful drawings of henna. The bride's henna is made at the same moment the groom gets his. Unlike the groom's, the bride's henna ritual is exclusively female. Likewise, she receives financial gifts from her relatives and friends. When this process is over, the crowd moves to the groom's home to attend the gala. The bride can go with them, but in disguise.
Nubian songs usually describe the beauty of nature, boy-girl encounters in date palm gardens or on the River Nile Bank. Other songs glorify good manners and beauty in general. The Nubian dances that accompany the songs imitate the movement of river waves and the hissing of tree branches as they are moved by the wind. Male dancers are separated from female dancers by the concert organizer. Ululations erupt every now and then to refresh the audience and, whenever there is need for them woman beseeches her fellow females to do so in the name of The Prophet Mohammad. The Nubians are pious by nature.
When the gala drags on to a halt , usually about dawn , the gathering disperses for a nap. Then they get up to have breakfast and tea. The breakfast is usually a light meal made up of vermicelli and biscuits.
Then there comes the major wedding day when the bride and her groom are officially joined in matrimony. That evening the villagers gather at the groom's where they are served with tea and pastry. After sunset the groom enters his room for make-up. He puts on his wedding attire which is usually a white garment, a turban, a shawl and a cloak. He sports a colorful cane, often brought from abroad. Then he and entourage come out of the room chanting praise songs of The Prophet Mohammad. Then they are joined by the wide gathering waiting outside in a long procession towards the bride's home. They carry lamps to show them the road and demonstrate happiness. The march stops often to take a breath if the bride's home is at a distance. At the bride's door step the groom is served with a glass of milk and is showered with sugar. He is made to trod into the house using his right foot first. Then he is made to jump over a trough filled with water. The right foot, the milk , the sugar and the water are considered omens of happy and prosperous married life.
Then the crowd is made to sit down for a snack containing best quality dates, sweets and popcorn. Then a government authorized clergy writes down the marriage certificate and soundly declares the two husband and wife amidst merry congratulations from the crowd. The crowd then receives supper and a concert begins and continues all night.
The next day, called the sobhiyya-or morning, is the day when the couple come together. This takes place in a big room that leads to a smaller one. Guests and relatives gather in the big room to see the couple brought together . They would not depart until the groom showers them with sweets and money. Kids compete to grab the sweets and money. When the crowd is off an experienced woman closes the door and leaves the couple all by themselves.
The groom then ushers the bride into the inner room which is usually fitted with all their needs. They stay in this room for seven days during which they are rendered the best of service. On a certain day, usually a Thursday, the groom throws a feast for relatives and friend. Each night the friends and relatives gather to sing and dance. On the last day the couple are served with sugared milk and wheat flakes. This special occasion is organized by relatives and neighbors.
At the end of this day the new-weds march in a big procession towards the River Nile where the couple wash their hands and faces as an omen for a happy life in wedlock. Perhaps the Nubians had inherited this visit to the Nile from their ancestors before Islam and Christianity.
YH/ AS
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